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How to ask for a referral on LinkedIn, politely

A referral can change your odds more than another fifty applications, but a badly written request gets ignored. How to choose who to message, what to write, and how to follow up.

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Asking a stranger for help feels like an imposition, which is why most people either never do it or send one pushy line. A good request is the opposite: short, specific, easy to say yes or no to, and clear that you have already done your own homework.

The aim is not to extract a favour. It is to start a small conversation with someone who knows the company, and to make it easy for them to help if they can.

What you should come away with

  • Ask for information first and a referral second, unless you already know the person
  • Name a specific role and say why you fit it in one line
  • Make a no easy: a kind refusal costs them nothing
  • Never pay for a referral, and be wary of anyone who asks
  • Follow up once, after about a week, then let it go
  • Thank people whatever happens, and tell them how it turned out

Begin by choosing who to write to. The best person is someone close to your situation: an alumnus of your college, someone who held the role you want a year or two ago, or someone in the team you would join. A senior leader you have never met is a poor first choice. Look at their profile to see whether they have written, spoken or posted about something you can honestly refer to.

Before you write, do the work you would want a stranger to have done. Read the role. Check that you meet the main requirements. Have your resume ready and current. The most common reason a request goes nowhere is that the person cannot tell what you want or whether you are a reasonable candidate.

Keep the first message short enough to read on a phone. Say who you are in a line, how you found them, what you are applying for with the role title or link, and one sentence on why you fit. Then ask a small question. For example: whether they would be willing to tell you what the team looks for, or whether they would be comfortable referring you if they feel your profile is a fit. Say plainly that you understand if they would rather not.

Do not attach a long document to a first message, do not send the same text to fifty people, and do not ask for a job. Do not ask someone to vouch for you without knowing you; many companies expect a referrer to say they have actually seen your work, and most people sensibly will not claim that. If they say yes, send your resume, the job link and a three-line summary of why you fit, so that filling in the referral form takes them two minutes.

If you hear nothing, one polite follow-up after about a week is fine. After that, stop. Silence usually means busy, not rude. Move on to the next person and keep applying through the normal route in parallel, because a referral improves the odds of being read, not the outcome of the interview.

One warning. Some people and services offer referrals for money. A genuine employee referral is never sold, and paying for one is a good way to lose money and, in some companies, to be disqualified. Finally, whatever happens, thank the person and tell them how it went. People remember who did that, and it is how a single reply becomes a contact you can ask again in two years.

TopicsCommunicationNetworking

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