People & Leadership
In a small team, two people who are not speaking affect everybody
Two colleagues who disagree about who does what, a long-serving employee who resents a newcomer, a founder and a co-founder who no longer see things the same way. In a small team there is nowhere for the tension to go, so it shows up in the work. This session helps owners notice conflict early, listen properly, help people reach their own agreement and recognise the point at which a matter is no longer a disagreement but needs a formal process.
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Left alone, most conflict does not fade. It goes quiet and then comes back worse.
Owners often hope disagreements will settle themselves, and sometimes they do. More often, two people stop talking, a customer is dealt with badly, or somebody starts quietly looking for another job. By the time the owner steps in, there are two firm versions of the story and a number of people who have taken sides.
Handled early, conflict is often about something quite specific: an unclear division of work, an unspoken expectation, a comment taken the wrong way. This session gives owners a simple method for stepping in early and fairly. It also draws the line where the owner should stop, and a proper process or a professional should take over.
What the session covers
35 topics across 7 areas. Seven parts, from the first signs to a formal route. 6 apply to almost any business; the rest only in a particular case.
Spotting It EarlyPeople rarely announce a conflict.5
- Two people avoiding each other or going through a third person
- Short, cold or sarcastic messages
- Complaints about 'attitude' without any specific incident
- A drop in cooperation on shared work
- People coming to the owner to report on each other
Understanding What Is Going OnMost conflicts have one of a few causes.6
- Unclear roles, so both think the task is theirs, or neither does
- Different working styles and different standards
- Unfair treatment, or the sense of it
- A decision that was not explained
- Pressure on the whole team, being taken out on each other
- Genuine clashes of personality, which are rarer than they look
Speaking to Each Person FirstListen separately before you bring anybody together.5
- A private conversation with each person, with enough time
- Asking open questions: what happened, what was the effect, what do you need?
- Listening without agreeing or taking sides
- Not repeating what the other person said
- Making clear that you will not reveal what they said without telling them
Bringing People TogetherA short, structured conversation.5
Not every conflict can or should be resolved by a joint meeting. If one person feels unsafe, or the issue involves harassment, do not insist on bringing them together.
- Agree the purpose: to work well together, not to decide who is right
- Each person speaks in turn, without interruption
- Each says what they need from the other
- The owner keeps the conversation on the work and the future
- Agree two or three specific changes, and a date to check
When the Owner Is Part of ItThe hardest case in a small business.5
- Noticing when your own decision or behaviour is the cause
- Asking a trusted outside person to help, such as a mentor
- Listening to feedback without defending yourself
- Fixing what is in your control first
- Co-founder disagreements, and the value of having a written agreement early
Recording and Following UpAgreements fade without a check.4
- A short written note of what was agreed
- Checking in with each person a week or two later
- Noticing and thanking the improvement
- Watching for the same conflict reappearing in another form
When It Is More Than ConflictIf it appliesStop mediating and use a proper route.5
These matters need a formal process and, usually, professional advice. Do not try to settle them informally, and do not discuss them with the rest of the team. See also the session on workplace complaints and POSH basics.
- Sexual harassment, which goes to the Internal Committee, or the Local Committee in your district, under the POSH Act
- Bullying, threats or violence
- Discrimination because of who a person is
- Allegations of theft or fraud
- Anything involving the police, a legal notice or a possible dismissal
Questions that move a conversation forward
- What happened, from where you stood?
- What was the effect on you or on the work?
- What do you need from the other person?
- What could you do differently?
- What would a good working relationship look like?
What not to do as the owner
- Deciding who is right before listening to both
- Discussing one person's complaint with the other staff
- Asking people to 'just adjust' without addressing the cause
- Promising confidentiality you cannot keep
- Hoping it will settle by itself
How the session runs
An HR practitioner or an experienced employer describes common small-team conflicts using made-up cases, never real people. Participants practise the private listening conversation and the joint conversation in pairs, using a made-up disagreement. The session is clear about where the owner should stop: harassment, discrimination, threats and anything with legal consequences need a formal process and professional advice.
What your students leave with
- A way to tell a normal disagreement from a problem that is spreading
- A habit of speaking to each person privately before bringing them together
- A simple structure for a mediated conversation
- Questions that move people from blame to what they need
- A written note of what was agreed, and a date to check
- A clear line between workplace conflict and complaints that need a formal process
Scheduled sessions
Nothing scheduled yet
Sessions are arranged with a college once a date is agreed. Ask us and we will find the right person for it.
A student rather than a college? See what is coming up, or ask your placement team to host this.
Step in early, listen first and know when to hand over to a process.
Tell us who your students are and what stage they are at. Sessions are free for participants.