Growing at Work
Your manager shapes your working day more than almost anyone else
A manager can be unclear, absent, controlling, inconsistent or simply different from you. Some of these can be improved by what you do. Some cannot. And a few are not matters of style at all. This session helps people work out which situation they are in, try the sensible steps first, and know what the next ones are, without turning it into a campaign.
Explore this page6 sections
Most people either say nothing for too long or say it at the worst moment.
A difficult manager is usually endured quietly, discussed with friends and addressed only after something goes wrong. By then the relationship has soured and the conversation is hard. Many problems that look like personality clashes are really unclear expectations, mismatched working styles or a manager under pressure from above.
Others are not. Bullying, discrimination, harassment and being asked to do something unethical or unlawful are serious and are not solved by adjusting your style. The session helps people tell the difference and respond proportionately. It does not give legal advice.
What the session covers
35 topics across 7 areas. Seven parts, from describing the problem to deciding what to do. 6 apply to almost any business; the rest only in a particular case.
Describing the Problem SpecificallyA pattern of behaviour is easier to address than a feeling.5
- Writing down what happens, when, and what you do in response
- Distinguishing 'I do not like how they speak' from 'they never give me clear priorities'
- Checking whether others see the same thing
- Asking what the manager might be under pressure about
- Noting your own part honestly
Common Kinds of DifficultDifferent problems need different responses.6
These are descriptions of behaviour, not diagnoses of a person. The same manager may be different with a different team, which is a useful reminder that part of the difficulty is the fit.
- The unclear or constantly changing manager
- The one who is never available
- The micromanager
- The one who takes credit or deflects blame
- The one who is critical but never specific
- The one with a different style from yours
What You Can ChangeManaging up, in plain terms.5
- Learning how they like to receive information
- Agreeing priorities and checkpoints in writing
- Giving short, regular updates before they ask
- Making their job easier where it costs you little
- Confirming in a short message what was agreed
Raising It DirectlyOften the step people skip.5
- Choosing a calm time and asking for a few minutes
- Starting with what you want to work better
- Describing a specific example, not a character
- Asking what they would like from you
- Agreeing something small and reviewing it
Going Beyond the ManagerWhen and how, without burning bridges needlessly.5
- Talking to your manager's manager, and how to frame it
- What HR can and cannot do
- Internal transfers to another team
- Keeping your own factual notes of dates and events
- Not copying confidential company material to personal accounts
When It Is Not a Style ProblemIf it appliesWhere this session stops and formal routes start.4
Use your company's formal routes. For sexual harassment, the POSH Act provides for an Internal Committee in workplaces with ten or more employees, and a Local Committee in the district otherwise. For anything with possible legal consequences, speak to a lawyer. If it is affecting your health, talk to a doctor or a qualified professional; Tele-MANAS, 14416, is free and available 24 hours a day.
- Harassment of any kind, including sexual harassment
- Discrimination or humiliation
- Threats, or being asked to do something unlawful or unethical
- Retaliation after you raised a concern
Staying or LeavingA decision to make deliberately.5
- What you are learning, and what it is costing you
- Whether anything has changed after trying the steps above
- Looking for a move while you are still employed
- Leaving well: notice, handover and references
- Checking your contract for notice and other terms
Questions to ask yourself
- What exactly happens, and how often?
- Have I told my manager what I need?
- What would a fair colleague say?
- What have I tried, and for how long?
- What would I want to be true in six months?
What this session is not
- Not a place to complain about named managers
- Not legal advice or a grievance procedure
- Not a guide to winning an argument
- Not counselling or therapy
- Not advice to stay in a harmful situation
How the session runs
An experienced manager describes the common patterns from both sides of the desk, then participants work through short anonymised situations and practise how they would open the conversation. Each person leaves with one specific thing to try and a view of the next step if it does not work. The session closes with where formal and professional help is available.
What your students leave with
- A clearer way to describe what is actually difficult, in behaviours
- A way to separate a style difference from a real problem
- A few approaches to try that are within their own control
- A way to raise the issue with the manager directly and calmly
- Knowing the routes beyond the manager, and when to use them
- A realistic view of when staying is wise and when leaving is
Scheduled sessions
Nothing scheduled yet
Sessions are arranged with a college once a date is agreed. Ask us and we will find the right person for it.
A student rather than a college? See what is coming up, or ask your placement team to host this.
Some managers can be worked with. Some cannot. The skill is knowing which you have.
Tell us who your students are and what stage they are at. Sessions are free for participants.