Family Business & the Next Generation
Joining is a career decision and a family decision at the same time
Some people grow up assuming they will join; some are expected to; some are asked only when a parent falls ill; some would rather not. All of them are deciding something that affects their parents, their siblings and their own future. This session lays the decision out plainly, using the experience of people from family businesses, so that it is made deliberately rather than by drift or by guilt.
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The question is usually answered before it is asked.
In many families the answer is assumed on both sides. The parent assumes the child will join; the child assumes they have no choice, or assumes they do and avoids the subject. Neither has said it aloud, so neither has really decided.
A decision made by assumption tends to come back later as resentment, from the person who joined without wanting to or the person who stayed away and felt they had let the family down. A decision made with the facts on the table can still be hard, but it can be lived with.
This session does not tell anyone to join or not to join, and it takes no side between parents and children. It is not family counselling or legal advice. It is a structured way to think, with the experience of people who have been on both sides of this question.
What to think through before deciding
35 topics across 7 areas. Seven questions, in an order that makes the later ones easier.
What Do I Want From Work?Before the business enters the picture.5
- The kind of work you are good at and enjoy
- What you would want from a job if the family business did not exist
- How much you value independence, income, security and recognition
- Where you want to live, and whether the business allows it
- What you are afraid of, in either direction
It is hard to judge an offer without knowing what you are looking for.
What Am I Actually Being Offered?The business as it is, not as it was when you were a child.5
A person unsure whether to join may never have seen the numbers. A parent may be willing to share more than the child has ever asked for. Asking is not disloyal, and sharing is not a commitment.
- A real role, with real responsibilities, or a place nearby
- The condition of the business: its customers, its margins, its debts
- Whether the market it serves is growing, steady or shrinking
- Who else works there, and what they expect of you
- What your parent expects, in words you have heard them use
What Joining Costs, and What Not Joining CostsBoth columns, written down.6
- Income, now and over the years
- Years spent building skills in one business or in several
- The freedom to change direction later
- The relationship with a parent, in each case
- The effect on siblings who have made other choices
- What you would regret in ten years, honestly asked
The Options in BetweenIt is rarely only yes or no.5
- Working elsewhere first, and deciding later
- Joining for a fixed period, with a review at the end
- Joining one part of the business rather than all of it
- Starting a new line or venture alongside the existing one
- Staying outside, but helping in specific ways
Each of these has its own session in this series where it needs more than a line.
Raising It With Your ParentsThe conversation most people put off.5
A parent who has spent thirty years on a business is not only asking about work. The business may stand for their effort, their name and their security. Hearing that does not mean agreeing to it, but it often changes how the conversation goes.
- Choosing a time that is not a festival, a crisis or a quarrel
- Starting with questions rather than a verdict
- Saying what you are considering before saying what you have decided
- Listening for the worry behind the expectation
- Agreeing to come back to it, instead of settling it that evening
When There Are SiblingsBrothers and sisters, and the quiet comparisons between them.5
- Whether more than one of you is expected to join
- Whether one is assumed to carry the business and another not
- How fairness is understood, and by whom
- Why daughters are sometimes not asked at all
- Talking to your sibling before the decision hardens
Making the Decision SmallerA first step rather than a final answer.4
- One conversation to have in the next week
- One piece of information to ask for
- One trial that costs little, such as a project or a month inside
- A date to review how it felt
Pressures people describe
- The unspoken expectation that nobody has voiced
- Guilt about leaving a parent's life work
- Fear of being seen as the boss's child
- A parent's health or age forcing the question early
- The sense that the other option is not respected at home
What participants leave with
- A one-page list of what they want and what they fear
- A list of questions for the family conversation
- The cost of each option, written side by side
- A first step with a date on it
- A clearer sense of whose decision this is
How the session runs
One or two people from family businesses, ideally from both generations, describe how they decided: what they considered, what was said at home, and what they would do differently. A short structured exercise follows, working through the questions above, and then open questions from the room. Participants share only what they choose to share. Evenings or weekends, in person or online.
What your students leave with
- A written list of what you want from work, separate from what is expected of you
- A realistic picture of the business you would be joining, not the one you grew up around
- The questions to ask your parents before deciding, and a way to ask them
- A clear view of what saying yes costs, and what saying no costs
- An understanding of the options between yes and no
- A next step that is small enough to take this month
Scheduled sessions
Nothing scheduled yet
Sessions are arranged with a college once a date is agreed. Ask us and we will find the right person for it.
A student rather than a college? See what is coming up, or ask your placement team to host this.
A decision made with the facts is easier to live with.
Tell us who your students are and what stage they are at. Sessions are free for participants.